PASSION "rediscovered"

Passion...It is the one strong drive within yourself which can take you places. Passion can work wonders. But the sad part is that there are very few people on this earth who know what they are passionate about and have trended their lives and energy in that direction. I have already lived on this planet for more than 23 years now. But ask me what my passions are, or leave alone the plural, ask me to name atleast one of them. I end up completely conquered. This is one question which has troubled me since a long while and the only real time I tend to think about my passions is only when this question pops up at an interview. There you can never really ask for any time to make the rediscoveries. So the fire gets lit and put off by the very same me at the very same occasion.

I have already put myself through many interviews as a part of the prowl for a job, at school, in office. Way back at school, teachers and friends often asked about the so called "passion in life". One thing I always noticed was that my passions kept transforming and the only conclusion that I could come to after all this was that, I still do not know what I am truly passionate about.

It was recently that we had an online exercise to be done in our workplace, where we were asked to answer to a lengthy questionnaire and they would tell us about our passions. It had to be done fast, so the answers were being generated spontaneously. No extra thinking and second thoughts were being entertained there. My passion score was pretty impressive. The report which was generated towards the end also told me what I am most passionate about. That was when I again got thinking about the passion of my life. Were my passions those that were listed in that machine generated report? I had no answer from my very own head or heart. It seemed they never knew something that even an external machine could manage to hint on.

It has been high time I pricked my senses. Have my passions formed rust under the routine life that I live? Have they stopped being my reasons to move on in life? So many unanswered questions and scores of answers to choose from. I feel like I am in for an objective test paper. I want to rediscover my passions, myself and I am feeling completely lost, like a child lost in the thick woods. I feel like I have been left alone to find my destination through a wild maze. I am scared of the thousand hurdles that I will have to cross to reach there. But I will be myself only once I set off on the prowl. See now, things seem to be getting more lucid. the scare factor is the culprit then.

Now writing this post seems to have worked like some magic potion on me. Suddenly I feel that I have always known my passions but I was always scared about the encounters that I will have to put up in the course of my journey to attain them. I know what I need, but I am simply scared, held back by those thousand inhibitions that are everywhere, in myself, in the society, in the family, in the workplace, in every single nook and corner of this earth. What do you people think of this? Don't you feel the same too? Are'nt these inhibitions holding you back in life? Are these inhibitions so important not to be torn through? Are they so important after all? You have just one short life in hand and your passions are inexhaustible. So, it is time to break the shackles, the fetters and the manacles and move on in life. In the process do not ever forget to care for your near and dear ones. They can fuel your passions like no one else ever could. So I am already on my way......Anyone joining???

A Real Late New Year Blog Entry.......

I know it does not make any sense with me wishing you a Happy New Year at this point of time. But what pains me is the fact that I have not been blogging for a real long while now. Not actually in pain, was pretty busy until now, so was really contented with the busy schedules. We are almost half way through the year 2009 and it is only now that I could put together some good time to indulge in my favorite pastime-BLOGGING. Hope the new year brought everyone loads and loads of goodies. For me it has brought a mixture of goodies and baddies, guess there has been more of goodies this time around. The year began with a great thump. All seemed to be coming my way, some stuff that I had been yearning for since a long while and some that I had never even dreamt of. Upar wala jab bhi detha ,detha chappad phaadke... The first bonanza came with the KSEB interview. That was something I had never really dreamt of having. I give all these exams thinking I would ultimately get to switch my Software job with a more desirable one. Know what conclusion I have come to after working in this vast industry for almost one and a half years now? You have got to be the hard rhino skinned being to grow here. Else you have to have position, and own the power that comes with it. Else you will be pinned down as a hardworking Software Engineer forever and ever and ever. So I am still waiting for the KSEB results. Meanwhile something even more interesting happened to me. The next story is the right pick to be an example of Luck By Chance. The CAT exams were nearing last November, 2008 and there was me, chatting "araam se" with my roommates, with the Agarwal's Aptitude text perched on my lap. This was the scenario in my room a day before the exam and believe me, that was the first time I got to flip through those pages since my college days.I did make frequent glances into the text though. The day before the CAT exam, I was double minded as to whether I should be giving the exam or not. I was that pathetically unprepared for it. But then the guilt of having put in 1600 bucks towards the CAT fund woke me up early in the morning and I did ultimately give the exam. The exam was much more interesting than I had actually expected it to be. That was my first CAT cum first mock CAT cum the real CAT. Anyways the CAT key gave me great expectations, but since I had no estimations regarding the level at which I could expect percentiles, I almost refrained myself from getting too much involved. At last, one Monday morning the results were out. Oh man, I was on cloud 9, trust me. My score card had managed to get me calls from three leading Management institutes in the country, three IIMs. I could not sit upright in my cubicle that day. I kept jumping, was bubbling almost frantically. At last I was actually booking tickets to go for the GD/PIs at Bangalore. Yipppeee.... I must have peeled off the skin from all over my body, pinching to make sure that I was not dreaming all the while. Now, IIM was a big dream of all times. But I had always thought it was an invincible target. And today I am in near reach of my dream. I hope I make through my last rounds too. I am half way through the GD/PIs now. Just one more college to go. The sight of IIM Bangalore almost affected me like wine. I was completely bowled over by the ravishing beauty, the elite of the most elegant. It was such a sweet feeling and so overwhelming. I was in a place that I had actually dreamt of being in at some point of my life. I never knew I would get to go there so soon. I was truly overjoyed. I was actually running around the IIM, prodding every nook and corner of it. I kept wondering whether I would get a chance to be there again. I really hope I get to learn there, if not there, at any of the other IIMs that shortlisted me. So I am keeping my fingers crossed, waiting for the big declaration to be pronounced. As for the other New Year gifts, I started the year being part of one of the sizzling hot-pick projects in my company. But lo!, even before I could rejoice, the music had come to an abrupt standstill. The recession has commenced to take its toll and people are blindly running for their own lives, to save for their bread and butter. And in this process, you might very well get trampled in the stampede, though not fatally. The cost cutting measures were bearable. But the resource releases and lay offs sound rather scary. But there is no stopping these sinisterly haunting effects of recession.Guess our generation is lucky enough to have had a taste of it all. I got released from my 4 months old project today. What were the deciding factors? Power, position, personal interests,dirty politics? It was a mix of all. Well, I am out of the "Who is the more powerful" game anyways, and a free bird once again. Now do you understand why the girl who was damn busy for a couple of months resurfaced with her latest post after a real long intermission??? Hope to make more posts in the coming days....Pooja is free once more and this time around I see no chances of my getting busy any soon. Either the company loses me or I lose the company now. I hope it is not the latter. I hope I get to put in my papers while all is still fine around me. Pray for me fellow bloggers. The IIMs are seducing, no doubt. And like Paul Coelho said in his "The Alchemist", “ when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.” So stop looking back people and move ahead in life, realize all your dreams....All the Best to all my friends