Miles To Go Before I Sleep.............

GIVE me a golden keyboard, and let me lean, on heaped up docs, and start to pen once again. I guess I have made blogging a habit too strong to part with. So here I am again. This time what has caught my fancy is life itself, not completely, but still it's that. The other day I was just wondering why people whine when they get entangled in the obstacles of life. Well, the reason for this outburst of thoughts was me, myself. At times tension mounts like anything, but once it all subsides and I start to think back, I realize that it was all simply not required. It is mostly so, not exactly, it is always so. For the last team meeting there was this teammate, so tensed, speculating interaction with the Project Manager. At such moments it feels better to have a cool head above the shoulders, no doubt. There is this another teammate who is so much at ease, even on being chided, this guy keeps his cool, smiles as if it is not him at all who is being spoken to. But the best thing is that he always has good presence of mind .Meanwhile, tension overshadows the mind so heavily, it even annihilates good consciousness. I keep complaining to my Dad over small, petty things every now and then. I complain about the injustice that is happening in office, the way our landlord behaves and I go on and on and on. He listens to it all and then calmly replies,"Life poses obstacles so that you learn from them, imbibe more values and ideals from them all.One obsatcle should never impede your progress twice. It should happen only once and that is ur chance to learn how to kill it or get over it trimphantly. Unnecessary tension will get you nowhere in life. It will only get you hooked up with your troubles and you end up totally baffled by the world of mysteries.Do not contemplate troubles and waste your precious time . Face them when they actually happen. Speculation on such matters never ever helps." Now that is exactly what he tells me when I lose my path at times. But still I slip and he has to repeat the same words to solace my ever disturbed, restless soul . Now I think twice before letting the tension to even sprout. I will have to go a long way before I actually become proficient at this skill, but I atleast remember to try and it actually allays my grief to a great extent. Guess I did somewhat stray away from the topic which I was planning to write about. This is what writing does to me. I decide to write, something comes to mind randomly and then I lose track somewhere on my way. I was planning to tell you about how easy life seems at times, but ends up all confusing on taking a closer glance. It is unquestionably true that everything seems facile at a single glance. When I joined school I never knew whether it was going to be tough or effortless. I was too innocent then to have known such details and I got accustomed to my school, the life, the ways, the rules , the regulations and I was more or less poised in my being. Then came college. I was expecting it to be easygoing compared to school. But there it was, all different. Since I did the whole of my schooling in the same school, getting replaced from there was like being totally uprooted and that was something I simply could not bear.I kept clinging to my sweet memories of school life, for a long while, found it tough to adjust in college and by the time I realized my folly, it was all over. My college life ended up there. I did not want to repeat the mistake, but still I hesitated to free myself in office. In the beginning it was only complains, so many everyday, that I myself got exhausted of them. After being with a whole lot of good friends at the office training batch, it was tough to be left alone in a complete strange team with a whole new set of people. Even to share a light moment with, I had no company at that juncture. I complained because I was yearning to converse with someone in my mother tongue, talk freely, laugh effortlessly. But with time I learnt to appease my loneliness and mingled with my strange group of teammates. I still cannot talk to them freely, but I certainly feel much better than before. Then about the stay in Chennai.Our first place of stay in Chennai was a hostel. It was tough. We were even denied our advance amounts while leaving the place. When we found a new place to stay, we were relieved because this was a paying guest facility. But once again our lives were seething with problems.Life is tough. It actually sucks. But we have to adjust and this realization has dawned upon us finally. We have learnt to smile in times of adversities and chaos, become a thousand times more patient, learnt to smile through tough times and through sick,nerve-racking conversations, situations. The sight of any acquaintance or a friend makes me overjoyed beyond all limits these days. Now I realize values, relations much better.I feel I have grown closer to my near and dear ones because of what life has done to me. It has been just 23 years since I first ope my eyes, but life has already taught me lots. I am waiting to know more from life. I am yearning to learn like an enthusiastic toddler. Meanwhile I am still scared of what I will be taken through.Guess this life will not suffice to answer the scores of questions that are left to be prodded into. But still I can try. Like Robert Frost wrote in his poetry, "The woods are lovely, dark and deep, But I have promises to keep, And miles to go before I sleep, And miles to go before I sleep. "