These Days....

Somebody had asked me a while back, whether it would be possible to start loving again, somebody whom you were taught to hate or learned to hate yourself. Alas! there is no way I could get in touch with that person now. But I certainly have an answer for his question now and it is a "Yes".

The fragile relationships and the thin thread which sometimes hold them together has amazed me many a times. In fact, I was most amazed when I realized that even people who grew up together could behave like strangers at several points in life.

You have probably seen the lover who swears to stay by till life's end, tells you a thousand times that there could be no love above the one you share  and tends to break away instantly in the name of clauses and conditions, and you kept thinking that true love was unconditional. What of the little baby who gets entangled and hurt in trifles between his/her begetters? What of the sibling who gets isolated from the family, simply because they felt they might have to share a portion of their rights with this one?

The thin thread that holds these relations is often broken by such conditions, clauses, misunderstandings, lack of any understanding, fights for rights; and there is born the man who does not know how to maintain a relationship. He does not reflect on the fact that life is too short for such trivialities and that, he would get very little time to enjoy each of these relationships bestowed upon him or designed by himself. He clings onto his bigger self and so goes into hiding, those that could have brought him moments of deepest joy in his short span of life.

Why not make it a point to strengthen the threads and brush aside those splinters that otherwise might hurt for a lifetime to come? Game for it? ;)

The Irony

An incident that happened in the neighborhood. Thought would share the light moment with you all.

Something that happened on a Sunday morning. The aunty in the neighborhood had left 5 idlis for the bhaiyya who comes over to help with the household chores. After a while the milkman arrived with his daily supply of milk. Aunty went inside to get cash to pay him. When she came back she could sense the milkman chewing fast at something. Aunty immediately got it, okay he had eaten an idli that was served for the helper bhaiyya. She told her daughter, but she dismissed it saying she must have kept only four idlis after all. And then she checked with the helper bhaiyya and he said that since this has been a highly natural phenomenon, her sister usually made it a point to leave the breakfast in the kitchen, so that our milkman did not have access to it.

I could not stop laughing for a while listening to this story, was just visualizing the whole scene. But then, a thought struck. What if he was actually hungry? Leave alone his case, we know he is pretty well off, but how many people would be going through that moment of hunger in a day, maybe probably multiple times in a single day itself. And how many would be able to do justice to that feeling. I have heard friends narrate about having witnessed beggars run through trash and eat what bits and pieces of food could be found. I have seen it in movies.

Not saying much this time. I am no great soul either. We all spend loads on all kinds of good things we yearn to have in life. We spend on branded clothes, accessories, on temples, on  our whims and fancies, on everything and anything that we could think of, having a good idea of what is in our pockets. I am a spendthrift myself. Been trying to teach myself a few good things. Thought might share it with you as well. If not daily, at least once in a week or maybe in a month or maybe in a year, try feeding a needy stomach and the feeling of satisfaction that it gives would surpass every other you ever had. Could bet you on this!!

What was mine

That which was mine
Now stands far apart
The love that was promised
Now stands long gone
Still I am waiting
With long bated breath
To test the waters,
to see if it actually was ever mine
No says the wind, so says the sea,
And so I have made friends with hope I believe
I am still alive....waiting to meet life again
The poem remains incomplete
As long as hope remains and life does not arrive.

This Thing Called Life

This Thing called LIFE-
It amazes me, amazes me so often,
It manipulates time to tell me stories;
stories I never envisaged,
to tell me about trials, who is fairly real.
I realized at a point that a few who lingered,
always had a reason, condition.
Only few tarried along with no stipulation.
This world is a fantasy and will continue to be...
They are all simply passing stances...
For once tell me squarely,
I have no time to waste on this,
I have more to do,
more to love,
more to jive and still more to celebrate,
and yeah, more to LIVE, lot more.............

Carrying Her Own Burden in Her Own Way

"God places the heaviest burden on those who can carry its weight." - Reggie White

All these thoughts were  stirred up by a particular lady. Now, it was pure coincidence that I got to see it.  Under usual circumstances I would have been in office at that time of the hour. Well yeah, things were different that day, and I was traveling. Please do not mistake me, not traveling to fulfill any official errand, traveling back home after a rather short day in office.

Two minutes after starting, I noticed this lady biker in front of me. She was dragging a burden, a full sack, probably of garbage, that her bike must have picked up unknowingly from any of those huge open garbage bins in Chennai. People all along on the road were calling out to her. She probably thought they were trying to hit on her :P. Finally somebody had the courage  to block the lady's way and tell her that her bike was carrying the waste collecting truck's burden. Well, she promptly gave up on it, left the burden midway to be either scattered all over by passing vehicles, or to be spotted by the garbage collecting truck. Any which way, her bike's shoulder, or rather rear was finally freed of some burden. If she had carried it any longer it would probably have put her life in danger, could have easily turned her bike over if it had got stuck up in something on the road.

It was just a sight, but I was wondering whether I was made audience to this sight so that I understood the events in my life better. You need not be carrying any garbage burden that you pick on your way. If at some point you realize that it was not meant for you, you are supposed to be abandoning it, so that the one who actually deserves it, gets to carry it. Why ever carry somebody else's burden and slow down your own life? Well, sometimes it feels good to help people carry their burden, but again, only those who deserve it. And as for the weight of the burden, that unknown superpower out there probably knows your limits. So just keep hoping that he will give you only as much as you can manage to carry. 

Have a good day people, and yeah, a great life too.

Forget About Fussy Kids...Who's Fussy Now??

A moment of silence for the child fraternity of today. However more sick could life ever get for these tiny tots? It amazes me when I hear people discussing about sending their two year olds for pre KG admission coaching. Common, there ought to be limits, parents.

Actually the saga begins way before the child is born and continues until it produces a successor. And Alas! the vicious circle continues. Here are some of the most common issues faced.

How to name the kid?

The latest trend is, choose a name that begins with any of the first few alphabets in English. Why so? So that the kid comes first, at least in the attendance register, if not anywhere else?? Again a whole lot of excuses being given for the same, the most common being, “My child’s turn will come early enough everywhere. Why take a risk by waiting too long. You never know how the resources can run out anytime, the situations/environment/a person’s behavior can change any time.” And when these poor kids grow up, they curse themselves for being first in the list. But thanks to some intelligent people, they are here to make everyone happy (or is it sad? Whatever!). Anyways most teachers and professors go by random number generation or similar methods these days. Hence, sorry to say, that logic for choosing names stands defeated.  

Who will look after the kid?

Well, doesn’t help these days if only one person in the family is working, especially in case of a middle class family. Then what to do with the kid? Either send him/her to your parents (poor parents must have had enough of it bringing you up, and now in this old age, here comes an even tougher task). The second choice being, if a babysitter is affordable, go for it. Else send the kid to a day care. Fair enough.” You only understand the intricacies of the issue after you become a parent.” So, no comments. And yeah, forgot about the worst case, what if the mother and father are working in two different cities? Again some of the earlier options might work, provided the child does not get to see either his/her father or mother for a pretty long period. No comments again, but just one polite question. Why make all this money that you will get to enjoy only in the grave? And FYKI, you do not really get to enjoy anything in there. Stay together with the kids. It will cost you very little compared to what mode of payment you might have to use otherwise.

What if you decide to have a second kid?

God save the poor soul, whoever that may be. 

What about the kid’s schooling?

The million dollar question that gets parents debating every now and then. Some schools do that, some do this, some make kids cocky, some make them pakka studious, while some have the infrastructure. It could be a varied mix of the abovementioned too. Wonder whether there exist anymore schools that could simply make sure that the child would grow up to be a normal, sensible human being, who is wise enough to imbibe the appropriate information at appropriate stages or moments of his/her life. But I wonder how, I wonder why? When there is a bandwagon of parents sending their kids to particular schools for all the wrong reasons, why go back to the good old school systems? Why keep best of the past and add to it the best of the present? Nobody even cares.

Another piece of information, the kid will lose nothing on missing a day’s class. Life is too long and the ocean of knowledge too vast. You don’t miss out on all of it in one day, neither do you get to gain it all in one day. So why fret? Take a chill pill Moms and Pops.

Yet another piece of info, please do not start training the kid for an Engineer or Doctor while still in the womb. Give them some free space where they will get to decide what they want to do. Do not decide right away that he/she would be the class topper, the university topper and the most appreciated employee/employer or whatever. Instead prepare them to take failures just as they do successes and let them feel the joy of emerging out with flying colors and having and giving their respective bests in life.

Which competition should my kid win?

Now what sort of a question is that? No matter what his/her talents or abilities, he/she is supposed to win every competition anywhere and everywhere and at anytime, even if it be held at stark midnight. How many kids are genuinely interested in what they do or rather, in what they are made to do? Is anyone even bothered? Hope somebody is, else these kids are gonna get hurt real bad someday.   

Now another moment of silence for all those parents who find all this total crap. But trust me, if the present trends catch on, we might someday need NGOs to vouch for cruelty against children. NGOs to please consider starting a new branch for the same. Being a child is so beautiful just like any other stage of life. Please do not douse the curiosity, the inquisitiveness and the enthusiasm. Let them enjoy every moment of what it means to be an innocent tot.Hoping for better times and a wonderful  new year. :)

Happenstance or Fighting Chance?

This time it took me real long to get back here. It was purely attributed to a dearth of topics. Life feels so usual once again. (:P). To start with, I am missing my sweet helL like anything, those long walks, friends, even those classes and assignments (one more tongue out smiley goes in to add effect to the last two cases) (:P).

To give you an idea of my present status of life, I came to Chennai this June end, joined TCS, work commenced pretty soon. 

During my last stint of one and a half years in Chennai I had fallen ill at least a thousand times. Every time the villains were "The Climate" and "The Hard Water". If there is any thing that makes me swear at this city at any point of time, it is one of these, climate obviously gaining prominence most of the time. The other day I was telling my friend how better the weather seems to have gotten now and she tells me,"Wait till next April-May, you will realize that nothing has really changed. It is just that you landed a bit lucky this time around. Hopefully this will not be the case  next year." Guess I could afford a transfer to some hill station or at least Bangalore before that.  

Thanks to the pollution, my already feeble voice has started waging World War ilk wars with my consciousness. How would it feel like when you are discussing serious stuff with someone and all of a sudden you cannot talk. Under natural circumstances the other person would think, "Oh! the poor thing is having a real tough time, her voice is breaking, she is going sentimental". Only I know that it would rather make me mental very soon.

And so all this lead me to the doctor once again. "Back to life", said Chennai to me. This time I was in no mood to give up. I kept going to office until I reached a stage where I could not even feel hungry anymore. I felt like I had contracted leprosy in my stomach or maybe, in that part of my brain which used to stimulate that feeling in my stomach. Again there was no giving up, why be pessimistic, it helps to be optimistic in such situations, "This might be the only way left to shed some pounds". So there went I, to office the next day. By afternoon I was blind, my eyes were shutting down in spite of genuine efforts and I could not even think of food and on my way back I was leaning on the wall of the auto. Had never felt more pathetic in my entire life. Half a day more without food, and then my friends decided that I had to go home somehow. Air tickets had reached a different level altogether and there was no way I could go home alone and there was no way I could tell my parents about my situation. 

A friend was going home that very same day. I got on the train with her, spoke to the ticket examiner. Seeing my situation he even forgot to fine me. By evening I was feeling much better. The thought that I am heading home and that there is nothing to worry about now kept me going.

My friend who had gone to sleep woke up in the middle of the night  looking really uncomfortable. She said she needed water badly. We had just finished that only bottle some time back. She started coughing and I started feeling sick again. We even considered asking any of the fellow travelers for water. Thankfully the train stopped at a station. It was 12 at night. There was no second thought, rushed out of the train only to find that the storekeeper was fast asleep. A stranger woke him up. Got a bottle of water, but the storekeeper had no change. I could almost visualize a "Jab We Met" scene by now. One more minute, and I did not even have the strength to raise my voice, forget about running behind the train. Anyways he was kind enough, gave me a discount and gave me that bottle of water. Anyone who had seen my friend take gulps would have wondered whether she was actually devouring amruth. 

And yeah, we both did reach home the next morning. I am even back after my short vacation, or rather hibernation. A strong me is back in Chennai to face the pollution and the hard hearted-ness of the Chennai waters. Hope Chennai does not play games with me all over again. I hate it when someone teases my voice and hate it even more to apply for a leave selecting from the dropdown list the reason, "diarrhea, dysentery, vomiting, etc." Feels Yuck!! (:P). 

Disclaimer or epilogue or whatever: My condition was not that bad after all. Exaggeration was purely for the sake of sympathy. (:P)

The Li'l Birdie, the Music Unheard

Our regular guests made it this year too. April, that is the month they visit us every year. The lantern shaped hanging light in the front veranda, that is where they stay during their short visitation. They make themselves snug and cozy in their little space. I had often wondered how they made it without fail every year to the same spot in the same house. This year, when I was back from my convocation for my rather long vacation, there they were one warm afternoon, the red capped birdie family.

As always, they were littering our veranda with twigs and soft cushiony remnants, from god knows, which garbage can. Since Mom and Dad ardently believe in the sloka "athithi devo bhava", Dad did not care to complain about the guests being untidy and Mom did not bother to shoo them away while they made their own home in our house. So they began their yearly ritual of building their little neat nest in our hanging lamp. 

The rest of the processes were really fast. Before we even noticed the nest was ready, probably the eggs were also laid and the mother birdie was always seen in there, making sure her eggs were warm enough to be hatched in time. I had always wanted to see the eggs, but since the nest is always perched on the hanging light and since I am a bit too tall by general standards, I could never make it and I did not want to take a chance, considering the fact that hard luck is very well favoring me these days, why unnecessarily get jinxed and end up a one eyed damsel (:P). And hitherto the eggs remain unseen.

Sometimes it seemed as if my family was more eager in seeing the eggs hatched. The birdies were seen near the nest less frequently now. Then one day we realized why the birdie was not to be seen most of the day, there was a small newborn birdie in there who was probably a voracious eater, the frequent trips made by his family suggested so. But the little fellow looked real cute, his pink skin, tiny beak, but the voice chords were, I guess, yet to develop. This time there was only one new birdie.

After a couple of days, there he was, perched on the tube light just adjacent to his hanging home. We  couldn't simply stop admiring the young fellow. He looked even cuter that his parents and was sure,way fatter than either of them. At one point my strong eyes seemed to have lost focus after having watched the tiny being for so long. So I came back into the house, concentrated on other eye wasting tactics. Mom kept watching until the li'l birdie's parents were back home with his food and before she had even closed the door behind her, an eagle flew low and grabbed away our li'l guest. His parents simply kept watching. The eagle was almost ten times their size and maybe they knew that it was no point jostling someone who had already frozen his catch for the day. It was saddening, the news that Mummy brought. The small family never returned the rest of the day, looked like they had left for this year.

This was the first time our guests left unfulfilled. It felt bad. What if they left and never returned next year? My Dad always said that it could be the newborn birdies who came back the next year to visit us. Now the family has been bereaved. Looks like this will be the end of a long relationship. So true is the case of any relation, break that one binding force and there takes a plunge, the whole long chain into long lost history. 

Or to wind up on a different note, let us put it in Darwin's way, what happened with the birdie family was just a case of "Survival of the Fittest". That could be a coequally good lesson to me too, ready to dive back into the corporate world for a second round. Guess there would be many others too who could keep this one in the back of their multi-network entangled minds. And so the li'l birdie spread music unheard, sweeter than  that heard.    

Tag Hour

I was tagged on this by a dear friend Sharat a while back, actually pretty long back. Somehow I did not feel like doing it then, do not remember why.Well, now I feel like doing it and here it goes....

1. LAST MOVIE YOU SAW IN A THEATER: Tees Mar Khan and I almost felt like killing myself thrice over. I should not have punished myself so hard. Well, after that I did watch a couple of good movies that I had downloaded from DC. I have this habit of downloading in bulk and then they just lie there, with no one to care for them. Since I am moving into the last few days at helL, I was in the process of cleaning up my hard disk so that I could fill it up with new stuff. And I happened to watch a couple of good movies in the process. One was 'The Prestige', by Christopher Nolan. That was an awesome movie. Then came across a Tamil movie, 'Unnaipol Oruvan'. Another good one. I have started liking Kamal Hassan even more after watching it, what an actor. Then 'Pursuit of Happiness' and there I am, liking Will Smith even more. Very rarely do movies get me to shed tears, this last one did. 

 
2. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING?: Not been reading any books for a while now. I have a whole stack that I had bought some time back. Sometimes the greed builds up so much and then after the initial rush, it just dies down for a while. Now I am into reading FB and Twitter posts. Special thanks to TOI for getting me hooked onto Twitter.

3. FAVORITE BOARD GAME?: Many. It keeps changing. Business used to be a one time favorite. Chess has always been. Snake and ladder too. I still play these games when I go home.

4. FAVORITE MAGAZINE?: I guess there's nothing in particular. I read every thing that catches my eye and that could be caused by just about anything, a catchy caption on the cover page, or the cover page itself.

5. FAVORITE SMELLS?: The smell of wet earth during the rains, the smell of flowers in Mom's garden, the smell of home itself. Every time I get back home, I wonder how that smell never changes. Or maybe it is just a feeling. But I know that is the favorite on the list.
 
6. FAVORITE SOUND?: The sound of hearty laughter that springs directly from the stomach and even helps change my mood at times. It is best made by babies, as if born from their inherent innocence. And then the sound of anything that feels like music, the sound of the dancing rain, leaves rustling in the breeze, anything rhythmic and yea, not to forget. beautiful music, any kind, any mood.

7. WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD?: The feeling of loss, pain and regret. Every one would hate these, I know. For something unique, would be sight of a dog. I am really scared of dogs. I do think they are cute, but from a distance. As soon as they are within reachable distance, I loose all my cool.

8. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE?: I wish I could sleep for five more minutes, and there goes the alarm into snooze. On a not so normal day, if it is something I am looking forward to, I will be all happy to wake up. In fact I might not even go to sleep. That is exactly what I do the night before I am to leave for home. On the other hand, If I already know that it is going to be a tough day, I might simply be more than happy to sleep through the day. ;)

9. FAVORITE FAST FOOD PLACE? I used to like Seashells in Chennai a lot, not exactly a fast food place. It was a restaurant with a fast food attachment to it. Now, it could be any of those usual hangouts, KFC, Subway, etc, etc.

10. FUTURE CHILD'S NAME? No clue. Too early to think about it, since I am still single and probably will not be even thinking of mingling any soon. I am happily single for now. But I do appreciate good names when I come across any, only that I forget them even faster.

11. FINISH THIS STATEMENT. "IF I HAD A LOT OF MONEY I'D...? Go around the world, but not in eighty days.

12. DO YOU DRIVE FAST?: The last time I drove was when I was learning driving. Guess I will have to go back and retrain myself this vacation. I don't mind speed, but I prefer being careful nevertheless. Well, I had a cycle that I rode on, to school, and there were these two steep roads that I had to take every day. I used to love to let go free when the road was comparatively empty, but yea I am generally cautious.
 
13. DO YOU SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL?: Yuck question. I like my pillows by my side.

14. STORMS-COOL OR SCARY?: Scary, of course. The only one I got to experience was here, in Lucknow. We were returning from a birthday party, in an auto, the road was under repair, the mud was being thrown upon our face by the storm, we all went blind and could scarcely breath and the driver had to finally stop and wait for a while until the storm got a bit calm. I felt bad for him, poor fellow, kept driving in spite of the mud blowing into his eyes and nose. 

15. WHAT WILL BE YOUR FIRST CAR?: Well the blogger who tagged me on this had modified the question for his convenience. I don't know what modification was made, so can I choose not to answer this one? Well, I really have no idea. I am yet undecided.  

16. FAVORITE DRINK? Lime juice, apple shake, but only if Mom makes them. Otherwise bournvita would be a safe choice. :P

17. FINISH THIS STATEMENT, "IF I HAD THE TIME I WOULD..." : Would depend largely on my mood. I would generally prefer to talk (or rather listen) or hang out. If in helL, I would have loved to go on one of those evening walks, in solitude, just me, my music and helL sweet helL.

18. DO YOU EAT THE STEMS ON BROCCOLI? No, I don't eat broccoli, then why eat the stems? Or was that question supposed to hint at something else. I have no idea.

19. IF YOU COULD DYE YOUR HAIR ANY COLOR, WHAT WOULD BE YOUR CHOICE? Burgundi, I had actually tried it while in college, but failed miserably. Guess my Keralite hair is too adamant to go back on any of its typical characteristics.

20. NAME ALL THE DIFFERENT CITIES/TOWNS YOU HAVE LIVED IN. Born in Mumbai, lived in Thrissur for almost the entire part of my life until now, worked in Chennai, interned in Bangalore and for now in IIM Lucknow (I feel like calling it sweet helL again, maybe because of this feeling that my days here are counted).

21. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH? No favorite sport as such. I do like to watch them when I have the company of people who like to watch them and get paranoid over it, please do not mistake this for sadistic pleasure. ;)

22. ONE NICE THING ABOUT THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU.: This was probably the last post on his blog. I wish he reconsidered blogging, or to simply put it, writing. I think he has a flair for it.

23. WHAT'S UNDER YOUR BED? Nothing, I just checked under the bed for reassurance. :P

24. WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE BORN AS YOURSELF AGAIN? : Yes, very much. I am in love with myself. I am my favorite (to make things clear, that was only a movie dialogue).

25. MORNING PERSON, OR NIGHT OWL? : Depends, if I sleep in the afternoon, I can stay up all night, as is the case right now. I have a session at 7.45 am tomorrow. Wondering how I will pull myself together and get myself there and finally sit through it.

26. OVER EASY, OR SUNNY SIDE UP? : If this is regarding fried eggs, I like both, with a slightly overly preference for sunny side up.

27. FAVORITE PLACE TO RELAX? : Home sweet home

28. FAVORITE PIE? There is this snack in Kerala called 'ada' I don't know whether it can be classified under pies. But I can't think of any other pie right now and I am already hungry.

29. FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR? Chocolate

30. OF ALL THE PEOPLE YOU TAGGED THIS TO, WHO'S MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND FIRST? I really have no clue. I feel that question was unnecessary. (njan mashinotam thudangiyitilla :P)

Early Bird NEED NOT Always Catch the Prey

Happy New Year to begin with. Well this post has nothing to do with my resolutions, neither is it a checklist of events for figuring out how bad or good 2010 had actually been. 

This happens to be the narration of a joint blunder that apparently proves that there could be exceptions when it comes to tried and tested proverbs too. It was some time towards the end of the last year and everyone at home was really excited about coming to Lucknow in March for probably one of their and my proudest moments of my life or their life or our life. Simply putting it, they were planning in advance the travel schedules and modes of travel to use, to get to Lucknow in March for my convocation.

That was when suddenly the players in the air travel sector decided to play a game of gamble to see if the government might just fall for their new proposal or rather it was their new call for a new card game with the government. They wanted permission to raise prices, not by bits and pieces, but they wanted it very much in the airline sector style, by a humongous amount (It is a way of asking for more in this sector, whether it be the ways of the pilots or the airhosts or any other person related to the airline sector by even the most svelte cord that ever existed on the face of the earth). That sounded a bit intimidating considering the fact that they are very good with playing with the airline fares even without any permissions. 

Finally after weighing the pros and cons the family decided that we better book our tickets right away, three months well in advance. when the prices were at their lowest best. So there I went ahead, locating the site which gave the lowest prices. Yatra.com made it through and we booked our tickets.  Thanks to the government, the price rise never happened as the airliners had wanted it to.

Now comes the part disproving the proverb. A couple of days back, we got a mail saying that the convo dates have been shifted by two days. Now slowly rang the alert bell in my head, my tickets!!! I disprove the proverb with enough evidences to support the action taken. The early bird did not catch the prey. It would also be fair enough to say that the prey caught the early bird instead.

Now it was the bird's turn to face the consequences. Then rang the second bell in my head (Thanks to the bells for their apt timings). The chief guest for the convo would be our Honorable Minister Mr Kapil Sibal. My father is an advocate and he had at times mentioned how much he would have liked it if we had  Mr. Kapil Sibal as the chief guest for our convo, Mr Kapil Sibal being one of those lawyers in the country who also plays an eminent role in running the country. Now this was a coincidence for the case of a lawyer and so I decided how to handle the situation. Anyways the proverb had already been disproved. It was time for some pacifying work to be done, even before the storm or the fire or whatever. This time I was trying to avoid the consequences of the idiom "Storm before the calm" :P (Why do I always have to link every incident of my life to an idiom or proverb or poem or quote. Well we will take up that for a separate post content.)

Yeah, so I was saying, I rang up my Dad and told him, not with so much of excitement, "Acha (means father in Malayalam), this time we have Kapil Sibal as the chief guest for our convo", and he was happy. Though momentary, only I knew that it would be so. Meanwhile I was still weighing the odds in my mind, "Should I tell him right away or when I call him next time?" So I went on about how lucky we are to have the minister, asked Dad whether he was happy with the news and then I broke the suspense and Dad is like, "OKie, that sounds interesting. Anyways Kapil Sibal is coming. The joy outweighs everything else". Well ,that sure  was  highly comforting. Then I give him the still worse information, like the increased fares, the cancellation charges charged by the airlines, to add up to that, the amount charged by yatra.com. He still sounded cool. That is what I like the most about my father, he never looses his cool.  

Those tasks done now I am still waiting for yatra.com to activate my cancellation button so that I can cancel my booked tickets. And look at the sweethearts there, they take 24 hours to activate a single button??? Another 72 working hours to refund the ticket amount. High time they learned something from IRCTC on this front. Hence to wrap up, the proverb stands confuted and I did not have to face the consequences of the idiom either. :P   

Escapade

It was sometime in the evening. Mom sits near me to browse through my albums. She is adamant at seeing the whole lot of them right away. I have no choice but to agree. And there goes the shortlisting train. Only if she cared to understand that those were my friends. The next day I am in college and when I come across those shorlisted faces, I feel a bit awkward. The next moment I am running away from them all, scared and lo!, I trip and fall, the kick. That was exactly what I was looking for. A narrow escape out of one skunky dream. :P 

Words

Those words spoken, wish they were unspoken
Those deeds done, wish they could be undone,
One moment here, one moment there,
And the next moment is an estranged one.
The disgruntled onlooker was once a part,
and now apart, beyond reconciliation.

Another day, another place,another time,
The context is novel, the roles recast and -
Those words unspoken, wish they were spoken,
Those deeds undone, wish they were done,
Life perdures to pull the strings unwearied,
Revamp is only an instance, the show is on, full on.

A While Back

My last one was a rendering made in the mood of wrapping up the last term projects. One month has passed since and loads of things have happened. Somehow the last term made me feel desperate to get back home that I even forgot to inform my friends about my homecoming. The whole process felt as eventful as ever, but nothing will ever beat last winter break I bet. 

The layover at airports as part of the to and fro journey was more than unpalatable. Eight hours in the airport on my way home and a ten hours on my way back. Thanks to those two friends for company, and to the laptop which more than often had landed up for rescue, else I would have died of yucky yucky boredom. Now for some comparisons. One thing we noticed was that the Bangalore airport was visibly way more friendly than  the Delhi airport. We were allowed to enter the Departure terminal way before the hour and got to have something and stretch our legs. The case with Delhi airport was quite different. Since we would not have been allowed into the Departure terminal three hours before the flight, we had to sit at the Arrival itself. Thanks to the drinking water pipe which is designed to serve only tall people and to make things still effortless for a five feet being, there were no glasses available and no space for glasses either. For a while I tried hard to strangle my thirst, but there are limits to everything. Two more rounds of the hour needle and I felt totally helpless, so walked down to the pipe, managed to raise my mouth to it and then I could not stop myself from bursting into a laughter considering my present posture. So two drops of water to maintain my liquid levels and I was back to my luggage again. The eateries were all outside the terminal and we did not want to risk going out in the rain with all that luggage(stuff for the next 6 months :P).

Back to college the next morning, just in time for the first morning class, and I had never slept in a class like that ever before. I wanted to listen, tried hard to take some notes, but all efforts were spoiled hands-down. Then it was a marathon run which covered up areas of pending term five registration, mess bill, collection of books and a tiring walk back to the room. I was adamant not to drop any books on the road this time. So I concentrated hard and finally got to my room with all my books unscathed. Then through the unpacking, cleaning up and tidying of the room. It does not feel good to stay amongst clutter, that too of books and clothes.

Three hours down the line I was almost 'sleep-working'. I wished I could check my mails, but my head and mind seemed to be giving in to the seducer that sleep had disguised into. And when I was woken up for dinner by phone calls from home I realized that life was back and I was once again in helL. One week since all this and I am enjoying the unusual leisure hours that comes with the beginning of every term. Soon it will get fast and furious once again and this time I have no escape until I finish off with all my leftover duties at helL.

The Blondie Countdown says "Days left for PGP25s 183 days" and it touches a chord that arouses a cocktail of thoughts and feelings. Do not know yet what all would pass meanwhile. Hoping for the best as with the beginning of every new term and wishing the same for every fellow being too. :)

The Storm before the Fireworks :P

It is submission time, started a couple of days back actually, but it is still on and going strong. A  few of them have been wrapped up, but a whole long queue waits and the waiting time could range from anywhere between two to six days. After the sixth day, the fireworks take over the baton, sorry, I meant the end term exams. So the waiting time has a firm cap which cannot be fiddled with. Another good point to be noticed is that the queue length cannot increase any further since this is the last week of the term. The queue length would gradually decrease and then exactly zero. As for the utilization of resources, it depends, the classic MBA response. Actually a lot of the parameters could be brought under that head, i.e.,"It Depends". :P

Now if you are wondering why I am so busy speaking from an Operations perspective, let me make it clear to you. I was doing this Operations assignment and I wanted to take a short  break in between. What better choice for a break compared to eating poor readers' heads?? And now I am back to work... :)

First Interview at Sweet 48!!!!

This is about a friend, a middle aged one, but a real close one who despised the idea of taking up a job. Not exactly, she did plan to go for a couple of them at several points of her life, but always ended up deciding against it when the appointment letter clinked in the letter box. And so passed almost twenty precious years of her life caring only and only for her husband and kids. Now her kids were grown up and working and suddenly after seeing them off to enjoy their new found lives, she had this urge to look for a job. Again the mother in her chose to do what mother's do best, teaching little kids at a play school. Again she chose to go to one at a walking distance because that would let her stay nearer to home.


And so she set out for her first interview. She loved the atmosphere of the play school. The whole ambiance there reminded her of those days when she used to deck up her kids' rooms every day according to their changing fancies. And then straight to the Principal's room after inquiring at the reception. She was confident that she would make it. She could shape her kids to what they are today. If she could mold those two little devils into their present designations, what on earth could stop her from molding a couple more of them?

Well the interview began. She told him about her background, the traditional answer to the "tell me about yourself " question. Then details about the family and finally the million dollar question, "Do you have work experience in this field?" A trained interviewee would have been prompt to say that she had trained two devils all her life and ingrained every good she possibly could, in them. But the mother was too innocent and  quick  not to answer in the affirmative. And so came down the curtain on her first ever job interview. Not to forget that she is a well educated lady, if she had chosen to work at a younger age, she would have got the job she wanted to have.

This was something for those millions of mothers who smother their dreams for the sake of their families, whether those be dreams of a better job or luxuries; and also for those mothers who take up the daunting task and still never ever show even the least bit of penuriousness in showering a mother's unconditional love. This is not to tell them whether they were right or wrong. That was and always would be entirely their choice. But a thousand thanks to every mother who simply cannot stop being the caring and giving mother that she is. :)  Not to forget to mention the fathers who are equally special(just that the protagonist happened to be a mother). They have no choice, but to work, ;) but they never complain either. They are the strong Daddies, the superheroes who hold together their families so that not any strong wind on the face of the earth would ever  reach the insides of their little sweet home or touch their loved ones in there.

Back in hel'L' SWEET hel'L'

Was yearning to get back here while at summers and now its a gradual glide into the usual self. In a month, not really a month, in something less than that, I would be yearning to go home. That is how it usually works. This time around it feels really good to be back in college, maybe due to the realization that life in hel'L' is going to be only for a span of another nine months, and time flies away here, as if it is all in a hurry to catch its next connection flight. The estimations and expectations are high, as with every commencing term. The estimations were always ad hoc and proved to be wrong or deviated trajectory without fault, at some or the other point. But this time I am indubitably excited about the lectures that I would get to attend. Looking forward to this second round at hel'L' with a bevy of expectations and hoping to enjoy every moment here like never before. :)

From over the mountains.............

Blend

Could be anything........Interpret at your own risk........

Great Expectations

A Zen proverb rightly states ~ "The obstacle is the path"
How true is that! Of late I have been counting instances that proved it over and over again for me. Not that I never came across such instances before, but just that I have too much of idle time now and I am bothering to keep proper count for a change.

The first example could well be my blogging faculties which almost went into a coma state after I got to Bangalore. When I left Lucknow for the summers one thing I was overly excited about was that I would get to blog more systematically now, since there would be more time. Every night before going to bed I travel up the memory stack for the day to see if there was anything that I could put down on the blog. But thanks to my swinging mood, I was so exasperated by the new found boring life that I could never even think of a single such thing. That was the first great expectation which faced an even greater slump.

 The first week in Bangalore was impossibly boring and then I slid into the new frame custom designed for me. Almost one and a half month through, I am afraid I am enjoying the solitude, or is it the new found friends here? I am clueless, but I am feeling much better now. I am loving the climate, feeling more with my fellow hostelers and obviously very much at home in office. The last remnant of the previous sentence is probably inappropriately structured, but then that is what it is like. I like the human beings there, though the government attitude does show up accasionally on a face or two.

Still, the dearth of those sedulous practices that were ingrained into our helL routines, keeps making me feel that I want to be back in college as soon as possible. [:P]  So I got to crafting my report well ahead of my usual schedules. Then came the next pleasant surprise -  the respondents who were to fill up my surveys are impossibly busy people and so the "Findings and Conclusion" part will have to be indefinitely put on hold. It was even more excting to realize that this indefinite timeline could well stretch into another week and there I see my dreams of early riddance shattered to mere crumbs and dust.

Another great surprise was on hold until I reported to my guide this morning. She will not be available throughout the first half of next week. Special thanks to the holiday calendar which never shows up in times of need - Thursday is a holiday, and my presentation will happen only next Friday and that is very much the day I had chosen to bid adieu to Bangalore with my bags all packed. Now I have another trouble brewing in the undergrowth of my petal laden path. As I mentioned, this is nothing new to me. It has been happening right from the time I was to be admitted to my kindergarten and the pattern is still going strong. Twenty years down the lane, things seem to be working exactly the same way for me.

My inference from these little experiences is that most of it which starts teda-meda ends well for me. Well, there have been cases too when good starts have given good finishes (I have certainly not forgotten about the bad starts and good starts which gave absolutely no chances to  make finishes), but the joy is always more when the tough start gives a smooth finish. Like Shakespeare aptly said for all times to come, "All's well that ends well". Hope the next week proves him right once more, else I lose at stake four more days of my life to Bangalore. One more relevant quote here, though that sounds like a bit of an extra dose from me.

"If you would have your son to walk honourably through the world, you must not attempt to clear the stones from his path, but teach him to walk firmly over them - not insist upon leading him by the hand, but let him learn to go alone" ~ Anne Bronte

That was a Dream Half Come True

It was 4pm in the evening and the auditorium at ISRO was gradually getting flooded with a swarm of ISRO employees and staff. It was the launch of the GSAT 4 using the GSLV D3. It was a proud moment indeed. To be a part of ISRO in itself is an honor, though it is only for a short period of 2 months. And this was truly an awesome experience, the launch. I had never really bothered to know the specifics of a satellite launch. This time it was different,being a part of the organization, it was a necessity and I could make out things a bit better too because I had been neck deep immersed in the ISRO library since the past one week.

So there we were at the auditorium. I had goosebumps as soon as I entered the auditorium. It was the feel, the aura, the setting, or I do not exactly know what, but I was enthralled by it all. Soon after we got settled, the commentary commenced and then we were introduced to all those scientists who had worked day in and day out to make this day a reality. The Chairman too addressed us along with the rest of the team. All this while, the countdown was progressing in the background and by the time we were five minutes away from the launch, the description of the satellite and launch vehicle and the assembly had been done. It all looked so much out of this world, numerous antsized people assembling a humongous structure as that. Now the time seemed to move really fast and the heartbeats paced up. It was very evident from every single face there that they too were feeling the same. They were probably feeling it even more strongly because most of them had in some or the other way contributed to the D-day.

Once the countdown reached 10 seconds, there was pin drop silence out there, the rocket gradually broke its shackles and took off on its flight. The excitement was so high that I could not even make out time fly. Soon the rocket successfully completed its first stage and there was loud applause everywhere. The distances seemed to thin down, ISRO employees across the nation experienced those moments as if there was only a few millimetre of thin air between them. That was an awesome experience, throughout the whole process I felt more and more proud to be a part of ISRO. Then the rocket moved into its second stage, it was very much and accurately following its proposed trajectory. We kept following every single word that was being uttered by the commentators, the range, the altitude, the angle of inclination and took care not to miss the count of time that the rocket had already spent up there.

All was fine and well until all of a sudden the rocket stopped responding. The signals were absconding, but nobody lost hope. Every single soul there held on with faith, hoping that it would be back under control. For a moment all that kept ringing in my head were the words of the Chairman that India would be a self reliant nation in the field of space once this flight  proved successful. Probably that was what passed through every single mind there. This was the first time we tried our indigenous cryogenic engine. The satellite also carried the Ka band transponders that ISRO would soon be venturing into.

 Every single person there refused to leave the auditorium hoping that the rocket will be restored to its normalcy soon. The agony in the eyes of those master craftsmen who had sweated it out to make this day possible was very evident. The wait was long and every single soul there was praying hard to harness success once again. But nothing seemed to be working. I kept my fingers crossed all the while and I really wished that I could be part of a successful launch, but then the experience was awesome and me, completely spellbound throughout. If it had launched successfully I would probably have had the most extraordinary experience of my life. Anyways it was only an experimental flight and our scientists there, I am sure are a determined lot. If not today, some other day, but India will become a self reliant space programmer in the near future. Kudos to our scientists and their craftsmen who work for the country so tirelessly and never lose heart, come what may, and hoping sincerely that they harness success next time with not even a shadow of failure looming anywhere in the vicinity.