These Days....

Somebody had asked me a while back, whether it would be possible to start loving again, somebody whom you were taught to hate or learned to hate yourself. Alas! there is no way I could get in touch with that person now. But I certainly have an answer for his question now and it is a "Yes".

The fragile relationships and the thin thread which sometimes hold them together has amazed me many a times. In fact, I was most amazed when I realized that even people who grew up together could behave like strangers at several points in life.

You have probably seen the lover who swears to stay by till life's end, tells you a thousand times that there could be no love above the one you share  and tends to break away instantly in the name of clauses and conditions, and you kept thinking that true love was unconditional. What of the little baby who gets entangled and hurt in trifles between his/her begetters? What of the sibling who gets isolated from the family, simply because they felt they might have to share a portion of their rights with this one?

The thin thread that holds these relations is often broken by such conditions, clauses, misunderstandings, lack of any understanding, fights for rights; and there is born the man who does not know how to maintain a relationship. He does not reflect on the fact that life is too short for such trivialities and that, he would get very little time to enjoy each of these relationships bestowed upon him or designed by himself. He clings onto his bigger self and so goes into hiding, those that could have brought him moments of deepest joy in his short span of life.

Why not make it a point to strengthen the threads and brush aside those splinters that otherwise might hurt for a lifetime to come? Game for it? ;)

The Irony

An incident that happened in the neighborhood. Thought would share the light moment with you all.

Something that happened on a Sunday morning. The aunty in the neighborhood had left 5 idlis for the bhaiyya who comes over to help with the household chores. After a while the milkman arrived with his daily supply of milk. Aunty went inside to get cash to pay him. When she came back she could sense the milkman chewing fast at something. Aunty immediately got it, okay he had eaten an idli that was served for the helper bhaiyya. She told her daughter, but she dismissed it saying she must have kept only four idlis after all. And then she checked with the helper bhaiyya and he said that since this has been a highly natural phenomenon, her sister usually made it a point to leave the breakfast in the kitchen, so that our milkman did not have access to it.

I could not stop laughing for a while listening to this story, was just visualizing the whole scene. But then, a thought struck. What if he was actually hungry? Leave alone his case, we know he is pretty well off, but how many people would be going through that moment of hunger in a day, maybe probably multiple times in a single day itself. And how many would be able to do justice to that feeling. I have heard friends narrate about having witnessed beggars run through trash and eat what bits and pieces of food could be found. I have seen it in movies.

Not saying much this time. I am no great soul either. We all spend loads on all kinds of good things we yearn to have in life. We spend on branded clothes, accessories, on temples, on  our whims and fancies, on everything and anything that we could think of, having a good idea of what is in our pockets. I am a spendthrift myself. Been trying to teach myself a few good things. Thought might share it with you as well. If not daily, at least once in a week or maybe in a month or maybe in a year, try feeding a needy stomach and the feeling of satisfaction that it gives would surpass every other you ever had. Could bet you on this!!

What was mine

That which was mine
Now stands far apart
The love that was promised
Now stands long gone
Still I am waiting
With long bated breath
To test the waters,
to see if it actually was ever mine
No says the wind, so says the sea,
And so I have made friends with hope I believe
I am still alive....waiting to meet life again
The poem remains incomplete
As long as hope remains and life does not arrive.

This Thing Called Life

This Thing called LIFE-
It amazes me, amazes me so often,
It manipulates time to tell me stories;
stories I never envisaged,
to tell me about trials, who is fairly real.
I realized at a point that a few who lingered,
always had a reason, condition.
Only few tarried along with no stipulation.
This world is a fantasy and will continue to be...
They are all simply passing stances...
For once tell me squarely,
I have no time to waste on this,
I have more to do,
more to love,
more to jive and still more to celebrate,
and yeah, more to LIVE, lot more.............

Carrying Her Own Burden in Her Own Way

"God places the heaviest burden on those who can carry its weight." - Reggie White

All these thoughts were  stirred up by a particular lady. Now, it was pure coincidence that I got to see it.  Under usual circumstances I would have been in office at that time of the hour. Well yeah, things were different that day, and I was traveling. Please do not mistake me, not traveling to fulfill any official errand, traveling back home after a rather short day in office.

Two minutes after starting, I noticed this lady biker in front of me. She was dragging a burden, a full sack, probably of garbage, that her bike must have picked up unknowingly from any of those huge open garbage bins in Chennai. People all along on the road were calling out to her. She probably thought they were trying to hit on her :P. Finally somebody had the courage  to block the lady's way and tell her that her bike was carrying the waste collecting truck's burden. Well, she promptly gave up on it, left the burden midway to be either scattered all over by passing vehicles, or to be spotted by the garbage collecting truck. Any which way, her bike's shoulder, or rather rear was finally freed of some burden. If she had carried it any longer it would probably have put her life in danger, could have easily turned her bike over if it had got stuck up in something on the road.

It was just a sight, but I was wondering whether I was made audience to this sight so that I understood the events in my life better. You need not be carrying any garbage burden that you pick on your way. If at some point you realize that it was not meant for you, you are supposed to be abandoning it, so that the one who actually deserves it, gets to carry it. Why ever carry somebody else's burden and slow down your own life? Well, sometimes it feels good to help people carry their burden, but again, only those who deserve it. And as for the weight of the burden, that unknown superpower out there probably knows your limits. So just keep hoping that he will give you only as much as you can manage to carry. 

Have a good day people, and yeah, a great life too.

Forget About Fussy Kids...Who's Fussy Now??

A moment of silence for the child fraternity of today. However more sick could life ever get for these tiny tots? It amazes me when I hear people discussing about sending their two year olds for pre KG admission coaching. Common, there ought to be limits, parents.

Actually the saga begins way before the child is born and continues until it produces a successor. And Alas! the vicious circle continues. Here are some of the most common issues faced.

How to name the kid?

The latest trend is, choose a name that begins with any of the first few alphabets in English. Why so? So that the kid comes first, at least in the attendance register, if not anywhere else?? Again a whole lot of excuses being given for the same, the most common being, “My child’s turn will come early enough everywhere. Why take a risk by waiting too long. You never know how the resources can run out anytime, the situations/environment/a person’s behavior can change any time.” And when these poor kids grow up, they curse themselves for being first in the list. But thanks to some intelligent people, they are here to make everyone happy (or is it sad? Whatever!). Anyways most teachers and professors go by random number generation or similar methods these days. Hence, sorry to say, that logic for choosing names stands defeated.  

Who will look after the kid?

Well, doesn’t help these days if only one person in the family is working, especially in case of a middle class family. Then what to do with the kid? Either send him/her to your parents (poor parents must have had enough of it bringing you up, and now in this old age, here comes an even tougher task). The second choice being, if a babysitter is affordable, go for it. Else send the kid to a day care. Fair enough.” You only understand the intricacies of the issue after you become a parent.” So, no comments. And yeah, forgot about the worst case, what if the mother and father are working in two different cities? Again some of the earlier options might work, provided the child does not get to see either his/her father or mother for a pretty long period. No comments again, but just one polite question. Why make all this money that you will get to enjoy only in the grave? And FYKI, you do not really get to enjoy anything in there. Stay together with the kids. It will cost you very little compared to what mode of payment you might have to use otherwise.

What if you decide to have a second kid?

God save the poor soul, whoever that may be. 

What about the kid’s schooling?

The million dollar question that gets parents debating every now and then. Some schools do that, some do this, some make kids cocky, some make them pakka studious, while some have the infrastructure. It could be a varied mix of the abovementioned too. Wonder whether there exist anymore schools that could simply make sure that the child would grow up to be a normal, sensible human being, who is wise enough to imbibe the appropriate information at appropriate stages or moments of his/her life. But I wonder how, I wonder why? When there is a bandwagon of parents sending their kids to particular schools for all the wrong reasons, why go back to the good old school systems? Why keep best of the past and add to it the best of the present? Nobody even cares.

Another piece of information, the kid will lose nothing on missing a day’s class. Life is too long and the ocean of knowledge too vast. You don’t miss out on all of it in one day, neither do you get to gain it all in one day. So why fret? Take a chill pill Moms and Pops.

Yet another piece of info, please do not start training the kid for an Engineer or Doctor while still in the womb. Give them some free space where they will get to decide what they want to do. Do not decide right away that he/she would be the class topper, the university topper and the most appreciated employee/employer or whatever. Instead prepare them to take failures just as they do successes and let them feel the joy of emerging out with flying colors and having and giving their respective bests in life.

Which competition should my kid win?

Now what sort of a question is that? No matter what his/her talents or abilities, he/she is supposed to win every competition anywhere and everywhere and at anytime, even if it be held at stark midnight. How many kids are genuinely interested in what they do or rather, in what they are made to do? Is anyone even bothered? Hope somebody is, else these kids are gonna get hurt real bad someday.   

Now another moment of silence for all those parents who find all this total crap. But trust me, if the present trends catch on, we might someday need NGOs to vouch for cruelty against children. NGOs to please consider starting a new branch for the same. Being a child is so beautiful just like any other stage of life. Please do not douse the curiosity, the inquisitiveness and the enthusiasm. Let them enjoy every moment of what it means to be an innocent tot.Hoping for better times and a wonderful  new year. :)

Happenstance or Fighting Chance?

This time it took me real long to get back here. It was purely attributed to a dearth of topics. Life feels so usual once again. (:P). To start with, I am missing my sweet helL like anything, those long walks, friends, even those classes and assignments (one more tongue out smiley goes in to add effect to the last two cases) (:P).

To give you an idea of my present status of life, I came to Chennai this June end, joined TCS, work commenced pretty soon. 

During my last stint of one and a half years in Chennai I had fallen ill at least a thousand times. Every time the villains were "The Climate" and "The Hard Water". If there is any thing that makes me swear at this city at any point of time, it is one of these, climate obviously gaining prominence most of the time. The other day I was telling my friend how better the weather seems to have gotten now and she tells me,"Wait till next April-May, you will realize that nothing has really changed. It is just that you landed a bit lucky this time around. Hopefully this will not be the case  next year." Guess I could afford a transfer to some hill station or at least Bangalore before that.  

Thanks to the pollution, my already feeble voice has started waging World War ilk wars with my consciousness. How would it feel like when you are discussing serious stuff with someone and all of a sudden you cannot talk. Under natural circumstances the other person would think, "Oh! the poor thing is having a real tough time, her voice is breaking, she is going sentimental". Only I know that it would rather make me mental very soon.

And so all this lead me to the doctor once again. "Back to life", said Chennai to me. This time I was in no mood to give up. I kept going to office until I reached a stage where I could not even feel hungry anymore. I felt like I had contracted leprosy in my stomach or maybe, in that part of my brain which used to stimulate that feeling in my stomach. Again there was no giving up, why be pessimistic, it helps to be optimistic in such situations, "This might be the only way left to shed some pounds". So there went I, to office the next day. By afternoon I was blind, my eyes were shutting down in spite of genuine efforts and I could not even think of food and on my way back I was leaning on the wall of the auto. Had never felt more pathetic in my entire life. Half a day more without food, and then my friends decided that I had to go home somehow. Air tickets had reached a different level altogether and there was no way I could go home alone and there was no way I could tell my parents about my situation. 

A friend was going home that very same day. I got on the train with her, spoke to the ticket examiner. Seeing my situation he even forgot to fine me. By evening I was feeling much better. The thought that I am heading home and that there is nothing to worry about now kept me going.

My friend who had gone to sleep woke up in the middle of the night  looking really uncomfortable. She said she needed water badly. We had just finished that only bottle some time back. She started coughing and I started feeling sick again. We even considered asking any of the fellow travelers for water. Thankfully the train stopped at a station. It was 12 at night. There was no second thought, rushed out of the train only to find that the storekeeper was fast asleep. A stranger woke him up. Got a bottle of water, but the storekeeper had no change. I could almost visualize a "Jab We Met" scene by now. One more minute, and I did not even have the strength to raise my voice, forget about running behind the train. Anyways he was kind enough, gave me a discount and gave me that bottle of water. Anyone who had seen my friend take gulps would have wondered whether she was actually devouring amruth. 

And yeah, we both did reach home the next morning. I am even back after my short vacation, or rather hibernation. A strong me is back in Chennai to face the pollution and the hard hearted-ness of the Chennai waters. Hope Chennai does not play games with me all over again. I hate it when someone teases my voice and hate it even more to apply for a leave selecting from the dropdown list the reason, "diarrhea, dysentery, vomiting, etc." Feels Yuck!! (:P). 

Disclaimer or epilogue or whatever: My condition was not that bad after all. Exaggeration was purely for the sake of sympathy. (:P)